5 Reasons To Find Your Tribe

The word tribe may conjure up the image of native americans working together in a small village or a handful of cavemen chasing after a wooly mammoth with crude spears. Tribes have been an essential part of human existence for a long, long time. And guess what? Today they are more prevalent than they have ever been before.

By the end of this read you’ll have 5 reasons to go out and find your own tribe.

“A Tribe is any group of people, large or small, who are connected to each other, a leader, and an idea.” -Seth Godin

The tribes of today certainly have a different look and feel than any image you may conjure up and for good reason. We are now fancy and well off 21st century people that have less need to collaborate for survival in that whole hunter-gatherer fashion. Today we have the iPhone X, the interwebs, and virtual reality glasses. We gather in online communities to fight for causes we believe in, ping our friends when it is time to celebrate a special occasion, and tune in to our favorite artists, athletes, and actors to hear them live from anywhere in the world. There is an incredible opportunity to connect like never before.

There’s just one problem. Despite the incredible technological advances people are feeling more alone and unheard than ever before. We have unlimited information, but don’t always know where to start when we want to make a change. There is a conflicting facet to social networks that make people oddly enough, antisocial.

If you feel like you’re not being heard in the noise it is probably because you’re not connected with the right people. If there’s an area in your life that feels like it is lacking, it’s probably because it needs to be filled with the right tribe. Your tribe.

So what exactly are the benefits of finding your tribe? Let’s dive in…

  • Tribes help raise your awareness

Like Seth Godin says, a tribe is connected to each other, a leader and an idea. If you already have an idea, for example, I want to improve my health and fitness. Now it is time to find a leader and some friends who are on the same track as you. So often people go on personal crusades to make make a change in their life but they stay in the same environment. By joining forces with your new tribe you will be in a heightened state of awareness with a focus on the habits and activities that your particular tribe engages in.

  • Tribes create an instant network for success

Members of a tribe gain the privilege of caring for one another. When a group of diverse people are able to collect in one place they bring an extensive background of knowledge, contacts, and opportunities to the table. They form a bond over the common interest of the tribe and are able to assist one another based on unique skill sets, each person has strengths they can use to help their neighbor.

  • Tribes create positive social pressure

When you surround yourself with people on a similar mission every individual action has an effect on the group. Individuals will feel the urge to act and perform in a manner that is congruent with the groups goals. That means increased accountability and less stumbling on the part of the individual.

  • Tribes help you feel a sense of belonging

Sebastian Junger in his recent book Tribe:On Homecoming and Belonging, discusses how modern society has been successful in so many ways, but as wealth goes up so does depression. That is because in our daily lives we no longer experience codependence and using our survival instincts. Our brains and bodies are equipped to function in 30-40 person groups taking on a harsh environment that no longer naturally occurs. He has worked closely with military troops and identified that a platoon in combat experiences this feeling at a high level and subsequently experiences a new deepness in their relationships.

What does this mean for you? Enduring hardship and struggle (even if it is voluntarily chosen) with a group will bring you closer together and provide you with a sense of belonging that is so primal to us.

  • Make a difference that is bigger than you

Let’s not forget that tribes are also connected around an idea. Achieving a goal or raising awareness to a cause is great but that effect is magnified when you help others do the same. Decisions that carry more weight in their effect will provide a deeper sense of meaning to the individual because they know they are making the world a better place.

Now find your tribe and make a ruckus!


3 Key Steps To Starting An Effective Daily Routine

“I’ve been thinking about taking up a meditation practice.”

“I really need to drink more water…”

“I feel so good when I exercise, I want to go to the gym more often, but can’t find the time!”

If you’re like most people you probably have considered starting a new daily routine to optimize one or more aspects of your life. In a world where time has become more and more valuable, distractions are at an all time high, and to-do lists are as long as ever – people are looking for ways to better themselves. One of the most common ways that folks use to make a change is by adopting a new routine.

Routines are actions or a combination of actions that yield a specific outcome or result.

They are the surest way to make an impactful change in our lives. By the end of this article you will be familiar with the 3 key steps to consider if you want to start an effective daily routine!

“Routine, in an intelligent man, is a sign of ambition.”

-W.H. Auden

Step 1: Keep the end result in mind.

As humans we have hundreds of little routines we practice each day. Most of these we don’t care to or need to focus on, they simply happen. Adopting a new routine is usually in pursuit of something new that we wish to attain. The benefit of successfully completing the routines could improve us physically, mentally, or emotionally.

Make sure to keep the end result in mind as you select your routine.This life changing benefit will keep you motivated and excited to stick with your routine!

Some common results people shoot for with their routine include:

  • Decreased stress
  • Increased energy
  • Better sleep
  • Improved mental clarity
  • More time
  • Better performance at school/work/sport

Routines to achieve these outcomes might look like:

  • Take 10 deep breaths before beginning a new project at work.
  • Exercise at least three times each week.
  • Turn my phone to airplane mode 1 hour before bed.
  • Make a list dividing each job into its constituent parts.
  • Plan out my daily schedule every morning while I drink my coffee.
  • Visualize what a successful outcome would look like for my upcoming event.




  1. a sequence of actions regularly followed; a fixed program.

Routines are most effective when practiced daily. Sometimes we need to focus extra hard on following through with a new routine until it becomes a habit. This is an important factor to consider in both the selection and implementation of your new routine.

Dr. BJ Fogg, a behavioral scientist from Stanford, has a basic behavioral model he uses to describe the steps to change. He claims that in order for a behavior change to happen you need to have the right mix of motivation, ability, and a trigger.

If we are highly motivated to complete a task then the odds are that when a trigger occurs we will produce a successful outcome. Likewise we tend to be successful at tasks that are easy to complete even if we are not so motivated to get them done.

Makes sense right?

The challenge many of us face is that we fail to set up routines that take into account the motivation required to complete a task requiring a higher level of ability. We shoot for the stars and quickly burn out after our initial gusto wears off.

Does this mean that we shouldn’t aim to make big dramatic change with our new routine?

Kind of…not exactly…but yes.

At least Dr. Fogg would advise against it. Instead he suggest focusing on the smallest possible change available to you in your new routine. Consistency wins the long term change game so you should pick a routine that you know you you can complete every single try. This will generate momentum and a new skill that you can apply later to more challenging target areas.

Action Step: Get out a pen and paper and spend 5 minutes brainstorming some ideas of areas you would like to implement a routine. Think about the end result you would like to achieve and make note of the top 2 or 3 new routines that would be a first step on the path. Then let’s move on to step 2!

Step 2: Determine the lay of the land

This is a chance to take inventory of your assets and keep an eye out for potential pitfalls. Implementing a new behavior is challenging because it requires knocking our brain off of autopilot. Rather than coast through our day following the usual agenda we are throwing a strategic interruption to our thought pattern that lets us try something new. This step can be split into two categories:

Supporting Factors, things that can help you implement your routine. Some examples could be:

  • A supportive partner or best friend
  • A commute to work that offers some alone time
  • Sticky note reminders you place all over your house
  • A trainer, coach, or mentor who wants you to succeed


Distracting Factors, barriers, or common faults that would get in the way of you completing your daily routine. This might look like:

  • Social settings where you may feel awkward practicing your new routine.
  • People who interrupt you and take up your time (EVEN IF YOU YOU LOVE THEM)
  • Physical struggles with things like exercise or waking up early.
  • Bad influences on your diet, behaviors, or actions.

Action Step: List the top 3 assets you have that could help you start your routine and then the top 3 distractions that may keep you from succeeding. For the distractions, find a solution for how you could overcome it (eg. Coordinate workout schedules with a friend, sIgn up for a class the night before, or prep healthy lunches for the week on Sunday afternoon)

Step 3: Track Your Progress

Benjamin Franklin, perhaps the founding father of using routines for personal development knew the importance of tracking and measuring his daily practices. Each morning Franklin asked himself, “What good shall I do today? And in the evening, “What good did I do today?” Taking the time twice each day to check in on his progress created more opportunities for growth and self-improvement.

Not only that but Ben cycled through a list of 13 virtues he chose to improve his morality. He would focus on one for a week at a time and document any infractions to the redeeming quality. He noticed significant improvement in his adherence cycling through each virtue four times a year.

As you prepare to start your new routine you want to keep track of your progress. Having clear defined parameters will make you more likely to succeed and recreate the process again for future habits.

Action Step: Make a plan to track your progress. What is the the key aspect of the routine are you measuring. What time of day will you log your results? Are you writing it in a notebook or on your phone or laptop? What will you write on days when you forget to adhere to your routine?

“We don’t rise to the level of our expectations, we fall to the level of our training.”- Archilochos

So now that you have the 3 key steps to starting an effective daily routine how are you going to implement them?

Eat This Not That!

Easy food swaps to keep you fit.

Is there anything like a piping hot slice of pizza sliding out of the oven? How about a heaping mountain of nachos in front of you during the game or a tall stack of pancakes for weekend brunch?

As you look to improve your diet you may have struggled to give up certain foods. Knowing how to make a few simple ingredient changes can have a major impact on your nutrition and health. The best part is that you don’t have to sacrifice any of the delicious foods you love. Whether you are an athlete, a mom, a busy working professional, or maybe even a combination of all three of those, making healthy diet choices easier is something you can benefit from. Try these a few of these easy switches to make any meal healthier!

“You are what what you eat eats.” -Michael Pollan

A twist on pasta

Spaghetti dinner is a staple in many American diets but if you are focused on eating healthy you have to tread lightly. The calories and carbohydrate content of pasta adds ups quick. Even alternative pastas that are gluten free are still calorie dense foods to keep an eye on. A better choice is to try veggies like spaghetti squash or spiralized zucchini. Combined with a low sugar tomato sauce and a healthy serving of lean protein pasta night can take on a whole new meaning of health.

A new slice on pizza

Pizza can be tough to navigate as your range of options is so vast. Some local joints may use great quality ingredients but still pack a caloric punch. National chains should be totally avoided with the processed ingredients and additives that make up their knock-off pies. Since most of us would love to keep pizza in our lives it is important to develop a system of eating it that supports your diet and lifestyle goals. Gluten free has become a buzzword and marketing tool used to attract new customers. I’m not here to have the GF debate about whether or not your body can digest it, I’m saying that a pizza crust made from processed starches that happen to not have gluten does not make them any healthier. Luckily you have a few options…

One method is to limit total intake, order a pizza with as many veggies and proteins on it as possible and limit yourself to one slice of the crust. Or you can try finding a restaurant that has  or making your own cauliflower crust pizza. This is a great low carb alternative that lets you reach for another guilt-free slice.

Flip what you sip

It’s easy to forget the calories that are found in drinks. A study conducted by Harvard found that women who consumed sugar sweetened drinks daily tended to consume more calories daily and gained weight. Meanwhile women who eliminated sugar sweetened beverages tended to consume fewer calories and demonstrated better body composition. Scientists believe that drinking calories doesn’t provide the same signaling mechanisms in the body as food does. Basically our body doesn’t recognize it has consumed calories and the subsequent insulin spike can leave you feeling energy depleted and hungry.

Soda, juice, and alcohol don’t really belong in your diet if you are trying to build muscle or burn fat. If you are looking for a fun drink try reaching for a juice made from vegetables like kale and collard greens, powerful nutrients like ginger root, and maybe a dash of lemon or lime juice. Kombucha, a fermented tea beverage, can be a great option as well provided you find a low sugar variety (always read the label) and of course there are many great flavored sparkling and seltzer water options out there.

The Burger Swap

One of the toughest foods to give up can without a doubt be the hamburger. Before you part ways with this American classic let’s figure out a way for you to still enjoy your cheeseburger in paradise…

There are two ways to clean up this delicious food. One way is to eliminate the bun. Replace it with a collard greens wrap or two pieces of fresh romaine lettuce. Two large portobello mushrooms can also do the trick if you have them available (Pro tip: Grill the mushrooms for 2 minutes on each side with a little oil, salt, and pepper).

The second way to clean up your burger is to make sure you have a patty made from high quality grass fed beef or organic ground turkey. Balance the fats you use as topping and try swapping out the cheese for some fresh avocado slices.

Pancake, stacked to jacked

Fluffy buttermilk pancakes or belgian waffles are a staple of weekend brunch. Instead of shooting for the white flour varieties though try a cleaner approach next time. Start with the batter. Substituting bananas and ground flax meal, almond, or coconut flour are a much better alternative. Keep an eye on the fat content if using nut flours as they are very calorie dense. Make sure you have a ratio of at least one egg per pancake or add a scoop of protein powder to the mix to keep the macronutrients balanced. Top with fresh berries and grass fed butter and avoid the powdered sugar and whipped cream. Also be sure to spring for real maple syrup over any of the high fructose corn syrup versions. It is packed full of antioxidants and so sweet that just a teaspoon will go a long way in terms of flavor.

If you want to learn more about eating healthy and getting in shape then talk to a coach today.

We can develop a plan for you to help you achieve your goals!

Happiness is a piece of cake?

Is it though?

You are What You Eat: You Can’t Out Exercise a Bad Diet

Ever heard someone give themselves permission to indulge their sweet tooth just because they just had a great workout?
(or because it was just holiday season…)

It’s a common excuse. Many people believe that because they exercise, they’re in the black as far as their calorie input/output. But in reality, this sort of thinking is a sure road to failure. Most people with a lean body and a 6 pack didn’t get that way by rationalizing their way to the desert buffet.

FACT: Many people have no idea how many calories they take in on an average day, often severely underestimating when asked to take a guess at it. But they also overestimate the number of calories they burn. The truth is, even 60 minutes at the best gym in town will not cancel out that burger and fries!

Do the math!

Let’s look at the hard numbers. An average, moderately intensive workout will burn 300-400 calories in about an hour. That’s an hour of hard work with plenty of sweat and hard breathing. For the guys, it’s probably closer to 500-700.

Now say on the way home from the gym, you decide to grab a couple of donuts from Dunkin’ Donuts. After all, you’ve earned it! In the 3 minutes it will take you to put away two chocolate frosted cake donuts, you’ve consumed 720 calories. All your hard work is wasted, plus you’ve provided your body with several hundred extra calories to store as fat!

Or maybe you just want to have some pizza and soda with friends. You consider the 600 calories you burned power walking on the treadmill for an hour today (your ‘life coach’ told you to do fasted steady state training….don’t even get me started!) so you eat 4 pieces of pizza and a coke. No problem, right?

Wrong. You just downed 900-1,000 calories in about 10 minutes!

Is it really worth it?

Face the facts!

The bottom line is you simply can’t out train a bad diet. If you try to spar a bad diet with exercise, the exercise will lose every single time. The only way to lose weight and get that lean, sexy, healthy body that looks great in anything (or nothing) is to eat a healthy diet AND exercise.Your weight loss is driven by diet and maintained by exercise. The only way to get ahead in the calorie game is to eat fewer calories than you burn. Only then will you begin to see the fat melt away. Exercise builds muscle and can rev up your metabolism, but you won’t lose weight if you continually eat more than you can metabolize.

This is not to say that exercise is not important. Duh! We provide you with the best stimulus in Northern RI.

It is!

In fact, according to Barry Braun, associate professor of kinesiology at the University of Massachusetts at Amherst, “When you look at the results in the National Weight Control Registry, you see over and over that exercise is one constant among people who’ve maintained their weight loss.”

Want to keep the pounds off? Exercise! Exercise is crucial. And you must combine it with a balanced diet if you want to shed pounds.

Start smart in 2019!

Have you been trying to out exercise your diet? Don’t be discouraged; many of us have been guilty of this. It’s time to rethink your weight loss strategy.

Try the following tips to start fresh and recreate your body!

  1. Plan, plan, plan. The only way you are going to get control of your diet is to plan ahead. Do not let yourself get hungry with nothing healthy prepared to eat; your will power will plummet and you will reach for a snack that will set you back. Keep food ready in your refrigerator that you can grab and heat quickly. And don’t leave the house without cool water, nuts, fruit, whole grain crackers and cheese.
  2. Lift weights. When you start losing weight, you must protect your muscle. If you begin to lose pounds without adding in weight lifting, you will likely lose up to 25% of your muscle mass. Also, after an intense weight lifting workout targeting at least 3 big muscles, your metabolism increases for up to 39 hours after you are finished. And repairing that muscle tissue after lifting requires energy! Energy=calories burned!
  3. Eat Protein.  It has been shown that the greater the protein content of a meal, the higher the thermic effect (calories burned to digest the meal).   Protein calories in ‘excess’ of requirements are not metabolized by the body in a manner similar to carbohydrate, so consuming a hypercaloric high protein diet does not result in an increase in body fat.  It is the high thermic effect of protein may make it difficult to gain body weight during times of overfeeding.
  4. Get some accountability. We’ll strike this note again and again: you need a partner. Remember, the single biggest determiner of your fitness success is whether or not you have an accountability partner. Find someone to trade food journals with and report on how you are doing with your will power.

You need both exercise and a healthy diet to be lean, strong and healthy. Don’t neglect either one!

We will deliver Fitness – Nutrition – Accountability like never before in 2019.

It all starts with the WINTER MELT CHALLENGE!

In-Body Progress Tracking

Goal Setting Workshops and Appointments

Level Method

MyFitnessPal tutorials (if demand is there)

The list goes on….


5 Weeks | 5 Goals | 5 Solutions
Start Jan 14, 2019

The best way to start your 2019!  For Members and Past Members and their friends and family!

Join the challenge that has will help you lose overall weight, lose Body Fat Mass and Gain muscle

❄️ 5 week challenge 
❄️ Partner Challenge

❄️ Recipes
❄️ Non-judgmental and encouraging
❄️ Weekly winners
❄️ Overall team winner 
❄️ Accountability group through FB

❄️Weekly Videos (Meditations Tips, Mobility Tips, Nutrition Tips and more..)

❄️ Daily Workouts No Gym Required (True Coach App)

 ❄️ Weekly Level Up Workouts (for Level Method members)

❄️ Weekly bonus points

❄️ 2 InBody composition scans (Before/ After) optional but you can get bonus points

🚫 No gym memberships required 
🚫 Not a boot camp




Earn Daily Points For…..

Investing in your future

For most of us, each paycheck a certain portion of our pay, is taken out and set aside in a retirement account.  Little by little this money accumulates over time, to provide an income for when you hit a certain age, and decide to call it quits and live a life of leisure.  Some of us work jobs where we are afforded a pension when we hit the specified number of years before we can call it quits and live that life of leisure. Really, when that is, is somewhat out of our control, based on economy and if it is financially viable to retire, and legislature, if they’ve added years until you can collect. Regardless, financially, we want to make sure we have some nest egg set aside for us when we no longer want to work.

The key here is no longer want to work, and not no longer able to work.  Also, another important fact is that when we decide we no longer want to work, the quality of our life is one of vibrancy, so that we can enjoy life to its fullest.  What this means is we need to start investing in ourselves and our health today, like we do with our financial savings.

Physical fitness is the fountain of youth.  By maintaining good health and well being, through solid nutrition, wellness and exercise practices when you are younger, store up physiological currency in your body, which you can cash in later in life. Antique cars are an amazement to look at.  Something manufactured many years ago, up and running, like it was brand new so many years later, is a testament to the quality of the manufacturing, however, the upkeep is what has made these cars so cherished. Oil changes regularly to keep the engine fresh, oiling the leather on the seats, regularly scheduled maintenance. Without the effort in the cars early years, would not leave these cars in prime condition in their antique-hood.

So do you want to be a classic car, or scrap for the junkyard?  If you haven’t already started planning for your later years in life with maintenance today, who do you think your quality of life will be then?  In terms of physical fitness, just like with a retirement plan, it’s never to late, and you can start today. Putting off your health and well being now because of whatever excuse you want to use to convince yourself, is a potential loss of quality of life, years of medications and doctors visits, etc  that all may have been prevented by eating better, and moving more.

The focus of our exercise program is making you fitter individuals, but what does that mean really?  Yes, we make you stronger, cardiovascularly able to do more today, but, physiologically, we are improving all the markers for health, and reducing your biological age. Lower resting heart rates, blood pressure, better lipid profiles, less stress, improved cognitive function, etc.  The list of benefits of exercise is endless. Exercise with a focus on movement quality, means you move better. If you move better today, you will move better 20, 30 even 40 years from now if you keep movement as an important component of your life.

Along with exercise, proper nutrition, is imperative to good health and well being when you are younger, but it also is imperative today to your health when you are older. If you put low quality fuel in a high performance vehicle, it will not run like it is high performance.  Eating a non-processed foods diet rich in meats, vegetables, nuts, seeds, with some fruit, and starch moderated around exercise, and removing as much added sugar, is a perfect compliment to exercise and a diet for longevity of quality of life. With exercise and nutrition comes the need for making time for optimal sleep.  The list for complications for low sleep quantity and quality is also endless. Trying to get 7-8 hours a night, is a health imperative for today and tomorrow.

So as we approach the new year, use this time to reexamine your future, and if you are not doing what you need to do today to invest in your future self and future health, make the decision to start.  You owe it to yourself and your loved ones, to have the highest quality of life to coincide with the money you plan to use in your retirement plan when you decide to call it quits.

You have one body.  Maintain it as optimally as you can, so that you can be the shining star of the antique show later in life!

Election Day

One of the most important things you can do as a citizen of the US is to exercise your right to vote.  Make the time today for this important service. Cast your vote, and then be done with it. You have controlled the things you can control.  No matter the outcome of the election(s), know you did your part. You controlled you, you controlled what you can control. Everything else doesn’t matter. You may agree with the candidate, you may not, but wasting any energy in debates about this or any election, is wasted energy.  

You cannot control the election single-handedly, and if the majority disagree with you so be it. Go back to controlling what you can control, and your health and well being is one of them.  Arguing on social media, or in person about politics, is not good for your health and well being. YOu have no control over others opinions, but you have control over how you handle yourself, how you decide to engage your time. Is it for the betterment of you, or not.  

One of the hardest things as a rugby coach is to convince your players to focus only on the things they can control.  Only when there is 110% control should they focus on the things they cannot control. This is how all of us should lead our lives.  If we spent 100% of the time focusing on the things we can control, then we would be so much better off.

We sometimes can control our emotions, other times, we lose control of them, or think we do.  We can control our emotions. Our emotions are based off of our own perceptions of situations, and we can control our perception potentially.  If we cannot control our emotions, we do have control of how we deal with them. The decisions we make, when our brain gets the best of us, are still under our control.  We can control our food choices, whether to exercise or not, whether to engage someone in a positive or negative manner, whether to sit or stand, whether to take a moment to breathe.  You control whether you ask for help when you need it, or ignore your inner voice out of pride or whatever excuse you make. Control what you can control, focus on you. Make yourself a healthier and more extraordinary version of yourself.  

Exercise your right to vote!  Vote on you!

Level Method!

Starting in October, we will start testing for a few weeks to get baseline data for all members using the Level Method.  I am excited to share this with you all!  Many gyms have assessments and test to see how you improve, and we have our WODs which we use to do the same, but the Level Method is a categorical system looking at all avenues of fitness; all energy systems, skills, objective and relative strength, etc. and combines your progress into a rank color, very much like Brazilian Jui-Jitsu.  Since last December I have been looking at a way to track everyone’s progress, and have a clear picture for how you each can progress as members.  The system I wanted could not be a linear model, because a linear model does not work when you are looking at all the skills we look at in CrossFit.  I also realized doing our own thing (Top Gun) was not going to pan out how I hoped, the infrastructure to administer it would be too time consuming and bulky.  The origins of the Top Gun system had come from the Level Method, something I have been researching since last December. So instead of re-inventing the wheel, we have signed on to be a Level Method Gym!

In A Nutshell, the Level Method systematically progresses and ranks athletes from beginner to advanced – delivering tangible, achievable and incremental goals. It’s a system that shows you and your coaches where you are in fitness.  It gives you the knowledge, and your coaches the tools, to help you achieve your goals faster than ever before.

Ultimately, the reason why we are doing it is or you.  We really want you to find value in your membership and have quantitative data to go with your qualitative feelings and results.  Programming wise, and class wise, NOTHING IS GOING TO CHANGE.  We just have something to chart your progress with, chart the gyms progress with, and we now have a concrete way to reward you for all your hard work that you put in, because whenever you Level Up, just like getting a higher belt in the martial arts, it is a time to celebrate, and we want to celebrate you and your accomplishments!  The Video explains more.


The Five Senses

A year ago, I sat in a hockey arena for three days, and 36 hours, experiencing a Tony Robbins event.  The event was interesting to say the least, but it overwhelmed the senses, especially the big three we use for communication.  Our senses control us.

Visual (Seeing) Auditory (Hearing) Kinesthetic (Feeling) Olfactory (Smelling) Gustatory (Tasting)

These five ingredients, regulate happiness, sadness, ability to experience, ability to learn, so many facets of our lives. These five senses also help dictate our daily communication with one another, although mainly the first three.  Our communications through pheromones are not conscious to us, and nibbling in public is frowned upon, no Marv Alperts here.

Communication drives human connectedness.  Any relationship, is fostered through communication.  The problem is not everyone communicates the same. Each person tends to have a preference of the three senses used for communication.  If two people in a relationship do not have their senses lined up, they ultimately could be on the same page, however, they may be speaking different “languages” and this leads to major communication problems.

Do you know what your preference is?  

Knowing your preference and trying to figure out the preference of any person you enter a relationship with, is imperative to fostering positive communication.  The honeymoon phase of many relationships have both partners, using multiple ingredients of communication. You overwhelm each others senses. But as time wears on, and the newness of a relationship wears off, complacency sets in (something we need to avoid talked about in a previous post here) , we resort to our default ingredient.  The problem is, your default may not be your partners. And disconnect occurs.  

We have a great staff of coaches.  They are all dedicated to their craft, they all want to see improvements in each and every one of you, and we are all ecstatic to see progress.  We each communicate this in different ways. One of the reasons why it is important to experience different coaches, and get feedback and cues from different coaches, is that each of us, may communicate slightly differently, based on our preference of the above ingredients. This is why you may feel more connected to one coach than others, because you share the same sense preference.  And one of our tasks as coaches, is to do our best to coach to each of you as best we can in all three ways, so that we improve our communication with you and ensure our coaching and message is received. The more you are around, the more interaction we have with you, the better able we are to figure you out, and find ways to effectively get our message across so that you can improve.

If you have been around me at all, you probably can guess that my default is auditory.  I can talk and explain things until the cows come home. And some of you get it, and others just look glossy eyed.  Because your sense is not my sense. Yes, I do my best to communicate in all the senses, however, my default is my default.  So unless you are looking me square in the face saying “THIS IS WHAT I NEED/FEEL/ASKING YOU FOR, ETC” (like Carla does when it comes to coaching her), I may not get it. And if I have missed something from you, and you feel like I ignored you, I apologize, it wasn’t intentional, you just weren’t speaking my language.